Posts

Excerpt 2 from Operations of Time

-
      This excerpt happens pretty quickly after the first one (limited options- I'm gonna have to write more 😱). I really enjoyed writing this section. When I was younger (think most of childhood through till mid-twenties) I did theater, acting classes, and studying singing. These things have one thing in common, performing in front of others, and I have a wicked case of stage freight. To have something I loved doing connected to something I violently hated, was tough. The real conflict would occur when I forgot a line or right before I had to sing a solo. My vision would narrow, an oppressive silence would squish me, the blinding heat from the stage lights would burn me, and I would only be able to hear the pounding of the blood being pushed past my ears to on it's way to my brain in complete stasis. It only ever was seconds long but it felt like an eternity. Just thinking of the moments when that happened, because I remember everyone of them, transports me there t...
Post a Comment
Read more

Tomorrow, my busiest day of the year

-
     Most days I wake up and think about the things I want to do: go for a run, clean, and write. Those usually top my daily to do list. But at some point, usually pretty early in the day I get distracted. A few hours pass and I think, well I'll do it all tomorrow. But tomorrow never really comes.       I had planned on writing more posts between the last ones and now. But tomorrow never came. So this morning I decided I didn't want to go on my run, I started cleaning up a bit, but as soon as I sat down I opened the blog. It seems I need to kind of brute force my way to productivity, or negotiate (ok Nadia you can skip exercise but you have to write one thing at least). I've been coming up with different plans and schedules. But things just so easily fall to the wayside. This is especially true when big-ish things throw a wrench in my quiet and boring life.       I like routines and predictability (I know 🥱so boring). But for Chri...
Post a Comment
Read more

Excerpt 1 from Operations of Time

-
    A  bit of an introduction to this first, the working title is Operations of Time  it comes from Jane Austen's Mansfield Park :       How wonderful, how very wonderful the operations of time, and the changes of the human mind! If any  one faculty of our nature maybe called more wonderful than the rest, I do think it is memory. There seems something more speakingly incomprehensible in the powers, the failures, the inequalities of memory, than in any other of our intelligences. The memory is sometimes so retentive, so serviceable, so    obedient -- at others, so bewildered and so weak -- and at others again, so tyrannic, so beyond controul! We are to be sure a miracle every way -- but our powers of recollecting and of forgetting, do seem peculiarly past finding out. I left the British English spelling because I'm a snob. Just kidding. I'm just quoting it as she wrote it and it feels fancy. I was looking for a title of this work and...
Post a Comment
Read more

"The beginning is always today."

-
       I was trying to come up with some quirky way to start this thing and did what I like to think everyone does and Googled things. First, I googled "unique ways to say hello" then "quotes about starting something new". Jackpot. Landing on a list of 60+ New Beginnings Quotes for a Fresh Start  and found "The beginning is always today" by Mary Wollstonecraft Shelley. As someone who has a fondness for Mary Shelley (who was described as Goth Queen Mom Friend in Ann Foster's blog Vulgar History ). I instantly love it and in classic compulsive decision making went with it.       It also fits with my never-ending habit of planning to but never quite starting things. This blog is a great example of that. I have been thinking about starting this for maybe four months? Basically, I thought I would document the process of me applying to programs in MFA in Creative Writing. But I've already submitted some but not all, so there goes a real time docum...
Post a Comment
Read more